— What Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz (D) used to sign a bill that renamed a stretch of state highway after Prince. Let's go crazy.
theSkimm With
Sara Petersen
@amberfillerup, @ballerinafarm, @louisepentland — chances are, whether or not you're a mom, you've probably come across some of these momfluencers on IG or TikTok. And if you've ever been curious about these seemingly picture-perfect moms, with their equally picture-perfect kids and houses, you're not alone. Sara Petersen, mother of three and author of the new book "Momfluenced," has spent nearly a decade studying their rise. Here's what she had to say about the standards momfluencers create. And why those standards exist in the first place…
Q: How did the momfluencer industry become what it is today?
Early on, there were "mommy bloggers." And their blogs were rooted in personal essays that were often frank, snarky, profane — full of details that really unpacked the less rosy sides of mothering. Heather Armstrong [who, earlier this week, died by suicide] was one of them. She wrote openly about mental health struggles related to motherhood. So these early renditions of momfluencers were instrumental in starting conversations that might not have been so mainstream prior to that ... When everybody moved to Instagram, things became much more image-focused, because the platform is about aesthetics and communicating certain values through certain aesthetics ... Now, there's sponsored content and affiliate links ... I spoke to an expert who connects momfluencers with brands, and she described moms as the holy grail of consumer categories, because you can sell a mom almost anything if it is directly or indirectly tied to her fitness as a mother.
Q: Why do people find momfluencers so captivating?
Just like there's no one-size-fits-all momfluencer, there's not one universal reason people follow them. Mothers in this country are woefully unsupported systemically. They are expected to do everything and know everything about mothering — even if we really have no practical experience. And we're expected to thrive as mothers: We're expected to do hours of unpaid labor with a smile on our face because we're supposed to love motherhood if we're "good mothers." That's a difficult identity to contend with. I don't know any mother who's transitioned to motherhood without some sort of existential crisis. So much is expected of mothers and so little is given to enable them to succeed. It makes sense then that we're all trying to find a better way to mother. And since we're always on social media, we're bound to find a momfluencer who speaks to our insecurities in some way.
Q: There seems to be a growing number of relatable moms on social media. Is that a sign momfluencing is on the way out?
I think there'll always be money for someone who looks a certain way, has certain resources, and communicates certain ideals about motherhood. But I do think there's a growing faction that's tired of these narratives and wants to disrupt them. Especially now that more of us have the language to name our burnout. We know it's not our individual failings that's making our lives difficult. It's the fact we don't have universal paid family leave. It's the fact we can't afford or find childcare. It's the fact we still do the majority of domestic work and carry most of the mental load … So perusing these picture-perfect accounts that don't contextualize a mom's real life in 2023 stops being fun.
Q: Many moms know what they're seeing on social media isn't realistic. Yet, they still feel guilt when their own lives don't mirror what they see. What's your advice?
Of course you're feeling ashamed and insecure. Because through every step of bringing a child into the world and raising that child, mothers are both revered for doing the "hardest job in the world" and blamed for failing to meet expectations … We're trained to see ourselves as deficient if we're not succeeding at all times. One thing I found particularly freeing is digging into where these ideals of American motherhood come from — and most are rooted in racism, classism, and ableism … It's empowering to know these ideals are not natural by any stretch. They were created by white men attempting to get free labor and uphold their own power. Also, we can all opt out of many facets of modern motherhood, like holiday cards. You don't have to do that.
Psst, this interview has been edited for length and clarity.
What's Happening
🎙 In entertainment…
The Fab Five is back — and taking on the Big Easy. Other TV shows making a comeback? "Never Have I Ever" and "The Bear," which will return next month. TBD if, like so many other shows, they'll be caught in the mid.Not that there's anything wrong with that. Meanwhile, on the big screen, "Beetlejuice" is rising from the dead for a sequel. And there might also be a "Freaky Friday 2" starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan. Plus, in music news: Beyoncé proved who run the world while kicking off her "Renaissance" tour. The Jonas Brothers are suckers for a new album.Dolly Parton will rock and roll into a new genre later this year.And, no, Taylor Swift isn't in her memoir era yet. It's BTS.
🙃 In adulting…
As things heat up outside, some singles are swiping left on the whole dating app thing. While others are putting the drinks date on ice.Meanwhile, if you're worried about breaking your wedding budget, eliminate custom merch. We promise, no one will object. Speaking of saving money, more Gen Z couples are apparently bunking with mom and dad. Because, rent money doesn't take you far these days. Especially when you need a budget for shrimp cocktail. Oh and if you forgot about Mother's Day, blame it on too much multitasking. But don't worry, there's still time to get a last-minute gift. Here's one idea that's as sweet as her.
🔬 In science…
Buckle up, because Virgin Galactic's commercial flights could take off in June. In other space news, the UK is knitting — yup, knitting — a radar satellite.An unusually shiny mini-Neptune has astronomers doing a double take. And NASA is developing a snake-like robot to search for life on a Saturn moon. (Hopefully it's not easily rattled.) Plus, in the animal kingdom, there's a new group of butterflies that everyone's Tolkien about. The Sacramento Zoo is going bananas over a recent birth. And researchers down under are vaccinating koalas against a disease that causes some major issues, well, down under.
Skimm Reads
"The Half Moon" by Mary Beth Keane…Skimm fave author of "Ask Again, Yes" returns with another all-timer. This one follows a married couple over the course of one week (and two snowstorms). Malcolm, who owns a local bar, is struggling without his wife Jess, a lawyer, who has moved out. Through intricate storytelling, we learn about their failed attempts to conceive, the ways their lives have surprised them, and how they ended up where they are. This is a quick and impactful read that will stay with you long after you finish it.
Skimm Picks
Here are today's recs to help you live a smarter life…
1. A VIP sale you won't want to miss.
Saks OFF 5TH's Friends and Family is happening now through May 14. Start stocking up on summer wardrobe essentials (like heeled sandals, crochets, knits, and bold colors), and get 25% OFF your $150+ purchase.*
PSA: Mother's Day is tomorrow. If you're still searching for the perfect present, we've got your back. Literally. With a Massage Envy gift card, mom can choose a massage, facial, or stretch session. Thank us later.*
Psst...looking for more discounts on brands Skimm'rs love? Check out all of our exclusive promo codes here.
Weekend Escape
*Slams laptop shut until Monday.* We know the feeling. And we've got some tips for escape.
Curious about camping? There may be no better time to answer the call of the wild. That's because spring tends to be cooler and more comfortable than summer. And campgrounds are likely to be less crowded before Memorial Day — which is important since camping has gained lots of ground in the past few years, with millions of Americans trying it out for the first time. Whether you're headed to a national park, a local campsite, or your backyard, camping doesn't have to be in-tents. Here's what you need to know to be a happier camper...
Pick a spot. Though some fill up quickly, government or state-owned parks are great options. To find one near you, check out the National Park Service's directory or recreation.gov. You could also consider Kampgrounds of America, which features a network of privately-owned campgrounds. Or, if you want something even more affordable and easy, you could head to your backyard. Even your living room.
Grab the right gear. Most important, make sure you have the basics. Meaning, a tent (ideally, one with plenty of room), a sleeping bag (look for one labeled "three-season"), and a lantern (for maximum light). Then create a checklist for everything else, from extra supplies to extra clothes. Also, if you forget something or need more gear, many campsites offer rentals.
Make the most of the great outdoors. Once you've finished setting up camp, the real fun begins. You may want to go birdwatching, hiking, or biking. Or, if you're near water, consider fishing, paddleboarding, or tubing. At night, make sure to gather around the campfire for scary stories, and yes, s'mores.
Stay safe. For the most memorable camping experience — in a good way — it's best to keep some safety tips in mind: To avoid getting stuck in severe storms, check the weather forecast before you go and while you're there. It's also important to store your food properly, so that you don't have any unexpected visitors (read: hungry wildlife). Plus, keep your campfire small and never leave it unattended.
News Quiz
Let's see how well you kept up with the Daily Skimm this week.
Which tech titan won gold and silver medals at their first jiu-jitsu tournament?
A. Mark Zuckerberg
B. Jeff Bezos
C. Elon Musk
D. Jack Dorsey
Check back tomorrow for the answer. But if you just need to know, you'll find what you're looking for here.
